LGBTQ*
~DOMESTIC ABUSE AND LGBTQ+ RELATIONSHIPS~
Pdap believes everyone has the right to live their life free from abuse.
We offer safe, effective and high quality support to all victims of domestic abuse regardless of their gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, disabilities, background, or circumstances. We will work hard to provide support at the client’s own pace, walking alongside victims, survivors and their children, empowering them to access the support they need to be safe and recover from the impact of abuse.
What we Do
We offer support to anyone over the age of 16, who has experienced or is experiencing domestic abuse. This includes victims of coercive control, ‘honour’-based violence, forced marriage, and female genital mutilation.
We offer a range of bespoke packages of support to help you to live safely and to move on from abuse. The packages of support are tailored around you and the support needs you have identified.
All of our services are free and confidential.
The Facts:
Abuse CAN happen in LGBT+ relationships
Domestic abuse does not discriminate and occurs proportionally across all groups, subgroups and categories of people. Victims and abusers come from all cultures, all sexual orientations, all gender identities, all socioeconomic classes. Partner abuse is NOT more common in straight relationships than same-sex or poly relationships.
Domestic abuse is NOT more common in straight relationships than LGBT+ relationships
There is no reason to assume that people who are LGBT+ are less at risk of domestic abuse than heterosexual men and women. UK research suggests the prevalence of partner abuse is similar, if not higher in LGBT+ relationships occurring in approximately 25% to 38% of relationships. Transgender individuals may be at even higher risk, as research demonstrates 80% of transgender people have experienced emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive behaviour by a partner or former partner.
Abuse in LGBT+ relationships is NOT a ‘lovers quarrel’. Abuse is never mutual
Abuse is never ‘a cat fight’ between two women or ‘boys being boys’. Two women in a relationship do not automatically guarantee equality and two men in a relationship are not ‘fighting it out’ all the time. There is nothing equal or fair or mutual about partner abuse. Abuse is about controlling, coercive and threatening behaviour. Although the abused partner may fight back, there is a difference between violent resistance and abuse. Dismissing partner abuse as ‘a lover’s quarrel’ trivializes the abuse and allows it to continue.
Domestic abuse CAN happen in a variety of living situations
Many LGBT+ couples are not married and may not live together. LGBT survivors may also use different language to describe their partner such as: husband, wife, domestic partner, lover, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other, carer, romantic friend, etc. Abuse can happen in the context of any of these relationships.
Domestic abuse is NOT about size or strength, or who looks more masculine
By definition, a perpetrator of domestic abuse is someone who is or has recently been using violence, abuse, fear, force, threats and coercive control to a family member, intimate partner or ex-partner. Abuse is about a willingness to use tactics to gain power and control over another person regardless of how a person is, how a person looks or their gender or sexual identity. Age, size, weight, masculine or feminine appearance or any other physical attribute or role is not an indicator of whether a person will be a victim or an abuser.
Women abusers are NOT less physically abusive
Sexual violence DOES happen in LGBT+ relationships
It is NOT easier for LGBT+ survivors to leave abusive relationships than it is for heterosexual counterparts who are married
There is no reason to believe that LGBT+ people are not as involved in each-others’ lives as are opposite-sex couples. Some LGBT+ people might even be more couple or family oriented, as they might have experienced isolation or alienation from their own families and social networks. There is also no evidence that the absence of children makes leaving an abusive partner easier as barriers to leaving may also be: a lack of inclusive and LGBT+ informed systems of support and lack of support from the victim’s family and social circles. Victims may also be threatened with ‘outing’ if they attempt to leave or might be made to believe that potential systems of support will be homophobic, heterosexist and unsupportive. In cases where the abused partner is in the UK on a spousal visa, an abuser might take advantage of their lack of awareness about immigration law, and threaten to deport them back to their country of origin, which might be unsafe due to anti-LGBT+ legislation.